How leaders can control interaction by letting others feel in control

Have you ever wondered what makes a successful leader successful?

When speaking with the folks they lead, I’ve noticed one of the main topics that repeatedly comes up is the leader’s ability to clearly and consistently communicate their thoughts, policies, feedback, and desires effectively to those around them. It’s not just enough to tell a person what needs to be done it’s more about how the telling is done.

Directions, feedback, motivation, and other elements that the leader deals with on a constant basis need to be concise and unambiguous, while at the same time playing into the behaviors and attitudes of those receiving the message.

The successful leader also knows that leaving communication to chance is a sure way to cause unnecessary problems. Chance is having the “Whispering down the lane” or “Telephone” game permeate the process. Any leader will tell you that when he or she gave directions to someone who gave directions to someone who gave directions to someone (no this isn’t a typo) things got all messed up! That’s what e-mail, snail mail, and memos are for. Putting directives in writing is the easiest way to avoid costly (in both time and money) mistakes. Unless you have a storeroom filled with extra time and pallets of cash, why open yourself up to misinterpretation.

However, even the written word can cause people to scratch their heads. Confusing verbiage and poorly worded communiqués can create as much chaos as an unspecific telephone call. Being concise and clear within the written message can also prevent the storeroom and its pallets from being used and abused.

It’s not above a leader to have someone (a secretary or colleague) review written directions and statements before his or her “live audience” sees them.

Think of the leader as a well-known author who has an editor and a PR staff at his or her disposal. Do you think that the author wouldn’t use them if or when the opportunity arose? Of course not! Poor communication by a person in a leadership position can prevent them from becoming a top leader and cause bad internal PR in the process.

When the spoken word is the only medium the leader has at hand, the best and easiest way they avoid confusion is to have the recipient of the message repeat the content back to them. It may take a few seconds longer but it sure beats the time it would later take to correct any problems. And – it’s still best to back the dialogue up with an e-mail or memo later. I’ve known leaders who are not above telling the message receiver to e-mail them later with their understanding of what was said.

Once the leader knows what he or she wants to say, they are also keenly aware of the way they speak or write it relative to the person receiving their thoughts. Some folks like to hear or read things in a bulleted fashion, short, to the point, with no extra chitchat. While others like a bit of superficial social interplay before the points are made…a “So, how ‘bout those Knights, five runs down in the ninth and they pull it out!” type of introduction before being hit over the head with a directive or policy. Still others like details, the more the better, not much information overload with them. And finally there’s the type who feels more in tuned with the leader when they’re first asked something substantive, “Hope all’s going smoothly with your kids and that your dog is feeling better.”

While this may seem a bit unusual to some…after all why does the leader need to speak or write in a way that targets the reader or listener when they’re the leader and folks should just listen. Well, Dwight Eisenhower said it best, “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he (or she) wants to do it.”
Knowing how to get someone to do something you want done really is an art and the best artists in business are leaders who recognize the fact that people like people like themselves. The better the leader relates to his or her people the easier it is to get them to do things in an effective, efficient, and profitable manner.

Being a leader is not much different than being an actor, in fact it’s the same. The leader is taking on that role. The best actors know how to touch a chord with the audience. Emotions, motivations, and energy all play significant parts in the process.

Knowing what motivates the leader’s audience and playing to those motivators is the leader’s secret communications weapon. Whether the audience member is into making money, learning new things, helping people, gaining power and influence, creating peace and harmony, and/or working within the framework of traditions and set parameters, or a combination of any of those factors, the successful leader knows it and focuses his or her communications it that direction.

Understanding motivation and behavior are key ingredients in the leaders inventory of skills that enable him or her to build an organization or division through effective communications and empowers them to rise up to the next level within the organization.
Sure it’s great to know how to communicate well, but it’s even better when it helps you, the leader, create a less stressful and more efficient business life.

The quicker the leader removes the old “Just tell ‘em what you want done and if they don’t do it fire ‘em” mentality and begins approaching communications in a manner in which the recipient starts processing the messages instinctively, the easier it becomes to “Get someone else to do something you want done because he (or she) wants to do it.”
What a wonderful feeling it is when the leader knows that he or she is in control by making his or her team members, staff, and/or colleagues think that they are!